The 337
I don’t know what it is about this town. I have lived here for roughly 2 and a half going on 3 years here and romantically it’s just like high school. Except for the fact that i have had sex nothing has changed. I still don’t have a steady girlfriend. I still have the same inability to stay with a girl due to me either not being satisfied with her or just getting bored with being with her. YES i know that’s messed up how can a person get tired of a relationship when its only been a couple weeks. I don’t know. I want to find a girl here or anywhere, a girl that we can both be naked, bare skin and I can resist the urge to start fingering her. All i have experienced in life has been lust. I have never slept with a girl i liked in a romantic way. It has always been lust. I hate lust. I want to feel love. I don’t know how. I can’t even recognize my own subconscious, or my own emotions in order for me to. Deep down I don’t think i want to get married. My mom got divorced from her first husband, my grandma and grandpa got a divorce back in the day and then they got back together. My brother was married for 10 years and then his wife at that time said “I don’t love you anymore. I’m moving out and i want a divorce”
I’m afraid, I’ve felt heart break in high school. That was bad enough, i can’t imagine that. Im rambling this is bullshit. I’ve had the opportunity to attempt to stay in a relationship. It didn’t work out. I GOT BORED. And i constantly feel like an ass for it.
I’m done ranting, every attractive girl in this town has a boy friend. That’s because of one of two things.
a. The girls that I like are so far and few between here that it’s going to be damn near impossible to find one.
or
b. I’m not special in any way, shape, or form. Their are tons more guy out their just like me. Except they has the balls to talk to them first.
It’s probably both.
3 years ago